I have another space that I occasionally write at. It's usually only for the really really bad days but sometimes it's just because that's where my mouse takes me. I posted this there and that's why it sounds like I'm talking about Xanga from a different site, because I am. 

I know an oddly large number of people who are writers, even some of them published. :) I also know a very large number of people who blog as a way to be a writer. Some of them for marketing purposes some of them artistic. I blog on Xanga. I did not start blogging as a way to be a writer. I started blogging as a way to keep myself from going stark raving mad. It's my little place to talk about almost anything. Sometimes I'm serious, sometimes I'm not. I talk about my life, my job, my family, my health. It's almost always only about me. Most of the time I have about 60 page views of my blog, a couple of times things have happened and that number gone quite a bit higher. One recent post set a new personal best for me at 572 Views. Over the years I've seen a lot of people come in and start blogging and then give up. They think they're doing it to write an online journal, but they're not. They want instant gratification. They want to put up a blog and then have the masses read it and applaud. I even had someone point to my blog and say how can SHE get views & comments by talking about the soup she made and I have important political discourse and no one cares? That's the problem with society, it's all fluff!

I happen to know the secret. I know what that person has to do to engage other people, what the key ingredient was that he was missing. You have to care about people. When I read blogs here or there, I care about the people whose stories I'm reading. I genuinely want to know about their lives and how they feel about things. When I write a blog that is something other than my new shoes and weekend plans I am usually writing it to someone specific. Someone that I want to understand how I feel about something. When I read other peoples comments on my blog I don't feel giddy and gleeful that somehow I managed to get them here, instead I am usually just touched that someone heard in my words something they could relate to. Some of us lead such solitary lives that to find out that there are other people out there who care, even if it's only about that one small part of your life, is touching beyond words.

If you want people to care about you and what you say then you first have to find people to care about. I did this by joining groups or rings on Xanga. Then I would see a couple of people who were funny or interesting and I would subscribe to their blogs and start reading and commenting. Eventually I would find other people who commented on the same blogs and were witty or clever and made me smile, so then I would subscribe to them. I have met friends through my blog. I'll be seeing a couple of them this weekend.* In my real life I was never a very good friend. It wasn't because I didn't care about the people I was friends with, it was that I couldn't share my stories. I found it impossible to talk to people about my life. Now, it's easy. Now I frequently have to shut myself up so I don't sound like a blathering idiot and go on and on.
And on that note.




* YAY!! So excited for my weekend trip to meet up with old friends!

I had my check up with the Radiation Oncologist. It's a group of, I don't know maybe 20 doctors. Today I met with the only female doctor. I really like her, she's easy to talk to. so of course she's leaving. I've actually not ever seen a doctor at that practice that I did not like. So today I asked for their opinion about firing my Gyno/Oncologist. She gave me her blessing. As long as there are no problems I will only go to the Radiation Oncology practice. If there is a problem I have to go back to a gyno/oncologist. In the city of Toledo, the fourth most populace city in the state of Ohio, there are only TWO Gyno/Oncology practices. UHG. So, if I have to go back I only have two choices. One more reason to hope it never comes back!

Why do I no longer want to go to my oncologist you ask? Well, I am not comfortable with him, or anyone else in his office. No one ever really talks to me there, and I need someplace that I am comfortable enough to ask questions. I also find that my oncologist seems to do a lot of things because that's the way he's always done them. He also always hurts me. The radiology oncologists never hurt me. well, not much, but he always does. I don't mind not joyfully looking forward to an appointment but I don't want to dread it. So there you go.

Check up went reasonably well. Nothing alarming. Still healing, ever...so....slowly..... but at least still healing. Confirmed a couple of my suspicions about things that were going on. You don't need the gory details about that!

The opera was as lovely as I expected.

This was the venue;

My beautiful red shoes tried to cause me to go lame. MAN did they hurt! :)

I love to cook soup but I stopped last year.  First because I was tired and nauseated all the time, then because well I can't eat it why should I cook it?

But today I am trying this one.

I'm hoping all the cooking will make the onions & carrots not make me sick. For some reason peas do not normally bother me. I had two minor changes (I hope they are minor) to the recipe. Couldn't find yellow split peas had to use green, picked up mesquite liquid smoke instead of hickory. It's on the stove simmering right now and it smells pretty darn good.

I went to sleep at about 2:00 am and woke up at 7:00 am. Uhg!  Went to the Y and did a full hour! 30 minutes on the elliptical and 30 on the bike.  I do 60 minutes in a day pretty regularly but it's usually 30 in the morning and 30 in the evening.  It wasn't pretty, but it was done. Tonight I think I'll just curl up with soup & wine and read.